If you ask the population of men in the dating world what is the #1 characteristic that they look for in a woman, most will give an answer along the lines of “a woman who knows what she wants.” OK, great. But, what exactly does that mean?
As I’ve matured in my relationships and my own personal development, I’ve spent some time thinking about what constitutes this phrase. The following list contains my thoughts and beliefs on the subject. It is certainly not all-encompassing so if you have some additions, please share with us in the comments.
1. Lives with a purpose. - A woman who knows what she wants has a sense of direction. She lives her life with a vision towards her end goals and endeavors. She has a passion for something beyond herself, whether its animals, basket-weaving, corporate strategies, volunteering, etc.
2. Knows what she wants in a man. – This doesn’t refer to her preferences for his hobbies, profession or even his basic personality characteristics. What I mean by this is that a woman who knows what she wants understands her emotional desires in a man. Does she need a problem solver? A king? A warrior? A magician? A lover? Does she need a man who will be patient with her emotional state or a guy who will stay rigid and tough? These women know what will suit their needs.
3. Grounded Life Principles. – A woman who knows what she wants knows what she thinks about life. Whether its politics, religion, her general mindset, her approach to happiness or which direction she turns at the crossroads of life’s decisions. She seeks out knowledge, hobbies and people that strengthen and/or challenge her beliefs in order for her to more fully understand herself.
4. Decisive with the big decisions. – Life is full of choices like cities of residence, purchasing a home, career goals, the pursuit of education. A woman who knows what she wants makes clear decisions about her major life choices. She understands how these big puzzle pieces connect in the story of her legacy. Once a decision is made, she stands behind it, staying grounded in her beliefs and confident in the choices that she makes.
5. Decisive with the little decisions. – I used to think that being indifferent about the little decisions in everyday life was no big deal. It’s not like being indecisive about daily adventures, restaurants, movies, etc. makes a huge impact on the big picture. Plus, things tend to go a little easier when you’re laid back… Regardless, what I have come to realize is that if you are waking up in the morning and don’t know what you should do that day then it is probably a bad sign. A woman who knows what she wants has passions, pursuits and priorities that keep her active in meeting the demands and goals of daily life. She is decisive about the little things because, well, she has things that she needs to get done, and she is able to communicate those desires clearly and intentionally.
6. An understanding of her sensuality. – Often overlooked, but I think that an important feature of a woman who knows what she wants is someone who is in touch with her sensuality. She has an authentic confidence in who she is and presents herself as a strong and vivacious individual.
*What do you think?