Y’all – I give up on writing this week. Here’s my dog.
Ladies and Gentlemen – I have arrived.
There’s really not much else to talk about?! Except… remember how owner deserted me for several weeks in the middle of nowhere??! Middle of nowhere = Ohio. I mean where the heck is that place anyways? People say it’s at the “heart of it all.” Well, let me tell you – it isn’t at the heart of my stomach – so I’ll pass. I’d rather be in the middle of my food bowl, in the middle of the river fishing, or in the middle of an endless field with thousands of squirrels and birds to chase. Doggie heaven!
Back to the story at hand, I had to survive in the wilderness without my owner for weeks!! Wilderness = fur baby’s grandparents’ house. Seriously? What was my owner thinking leaving me with those couple of loonies? After one hour, grannie(?) looked like she might keel over from panic attacks that my hair was ruffling a little too much. Lady, I’m a dog. Ruffle my fur all you want; I’m a survivor!
After two weeks of enduring life in the wild habitat, purely from my own willpower (cue quintessential picture of fenced-in backyard with squirrels), I saw a ghost.
My owner walked into the house. Hello?!! I thought she was dead!! I thought she washed up ashore, cut a vital artery with a pen, freakishly disappeared and unintentionally left the most amazing, charming, magical, amazing (did I say that already?) and loving thing in her life.
I was saved!
Ok, let’s be serious…
This is a picture of me sleeping on 700-count sheets, Egyptian cotton and my own pillow at grandparents’ house. Shorty was in dog paradise. And that wilderness a.k.a. the fenced-in-backyard with all the squirrels? Umm, yeah. Owner needs to get one of those.
Moving on, owner lady asked me to write on here this week. She said she’s having writer’s block and has had it for the past month or so. Yeah lady, we know. Have you read some of those posts? Questionable.
Mama needs to read a book or two, participate in some writing exercises or something, if you ask me.
Luckily, owner left me with a “writing prompt.” This was good since I had nothing in mind to write about except HOW I SURVIVED ON MY OWN FOR WEEKS ON END. Ok, you’re over it; I know.
She said that the writing prompt comes from someone named Mama Kat. Hmm… I don’t really like cats, but I love my owner, so I agreed to write the post. The prompt is 6 Things you Look Forward to this Fall.
This was easy.
1: The Weather!
Hi! Look at me! I’m made of fur. Want to know how fur feels during the summer time?
I’ve been getting really sick of drooling all over myself so I can pant the heat out of me. I’m looking forward to those cool October mornings when I can show off my fur coat without dripping some slobber on my chin.
2: The Leaves!
I love when the leaves turn from green to yellow to orange to red. It’s so pretty to look at them while I’m chasing squirrels and birds. I feel at ease when I’m lounging on some orange leaves and chasing balls in the dirt. J
3: Owner isn’t going to desert me!
“How do you know, Kina?” you ask. Cue Jaws music.
Owner shared her schedule with me and she is only leaving one weekend this entire fall. Woop!! Who wants a dog in their lap?? That girl.
4: Apples, Pumpkins, Hay Rides, Oh My!
I don’t actually attend any apple picking, pumpkin picking or hay ride festivities, but owner says they are a blast! She enjoys participating in fall events each year. It’s one of her fondest throwbacks to childhood nostalgia.
Did you hear that owner is conducting 31 Random Acts of Kindness in the month of October and you can join her, too??!! Get on with your bad self, girl! I hope I am included in one of those…
In fact, #21 “Help an animal” is calling my name…
Or, #7 “Share a treat with someone you love”
Or, #11 “Do something with food”
And, #3 “Remember a time someone helped you out. Do something to commemorate it.”
…Hey, owner! Remember when I wrote this post for you?
Men in uniform sweating all over the field. Sign me up for that! Owner is also in three fantasy leagues soo I think you know what is on our TV this fall.
What are you looking forward to?